My Journey

Life is a struggle — and this struggle can start when we’re quite young. For me, it began when I was a teenager, living with the perceived pressure from my parents, and real pressure from myself to perform well. I did what was expected without ever asking myself if this is what I really wanted. Looking back, this was the beginning of losing touch with my true self.

When I first met my husband, he planted a seed: children help us grow. As a parent of young children, I was totally lost at how to support their emotional needs, and the conflicts they had with each other. I read parenting books, attended talks, and applied what I had just learned. Of course, it didn’t work — these teachings did not take into account who my children were, and who I truly am.

I was fortunate to be part of spaces that were nurturing and healing. I slowly began to accept myself and others — and then I was able to build the internal resources to meet the challenges of parenthood in an empathetic and compassionate way. As my communication shifted from judgment and blame to just wanting to understand and to connect, the conflicts in our family became fewer and fewer.

When my children became young adults, I came to know Kristin Neff and Chris Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion, and Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry. Self-compassion would have been the antidote to my harsh inner critic. Compassionate Inquiry would have helped me recognise that the emotional triggers I experienced were not about my children — they were about my own unprocessed childhood experiences.

Both practices would have reassured me that the wise and capable parent I was seeking was already within.

I am truly grateful to know this now. I am also grateful to have had the opportunity to travel — and continue to travel — on this parenting journey. This possibility is also here for you.